|Madness is a Gift. This is the box it comes in.|
So this is the Y-Lander…
They are basically humongous crabs that live in the mysterious tide pools at the base of Stone Breach Cavern. No one really knows why these recently discovered crabs get so huge. Or why they live so close to the desert. Maybe it’s something they’re eating? But whatever the cause- beware! Y-Landers might be neutral but they can go hostile at the drop of a hat! Their claws are as big as you are and can cut you clean in half if you don’t have good armor. Also- Y-Landers regenerate so… If you leave one alive. They will regrow completely.
You know, you’d think that you could kill this thing for a ton of food. But all it has in it is rotten meat. You can tell a Y-Lander is near when you hear silverfish noises. Or hissing like a snake. They also make loud popping sounds when in water. Generally they are interesting to look at, but you don’t really want to run into one.
Now THIS is farming!
So yeah- I found a beat up village near my new fortress and randomly decided to beef it up some fancy Tudor homes, some palace guards for safety, and of course some modern farming. But nothing too automated… (It’d be wasted there)
The village itself is… well. . Shit. It’s how most Minecraft villages unfortunately are. Chopped up, not level at all, and kinda all over the damn place. To top that off it’s small. No church, not even a blacksmith…
But I added some fitted stone roads, replaced the well with a chiseled marble pillar fountain complete with statues. Killed the witch that lived in the gingerbread house. I really cleaned up the place! I still have a ton of work to do. Particular in getting rid of the small houses and up dating the rail yard. Plus I have to spawn in some more of the missing villager buildings. But most of all I love the greenhouse I made!
The double village garden was about the only thing that wasn’t FUBAR. So I fixed it up first. Gutted the wheat and added, potatoes, grapes, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, and sugarcane. NOW it’s a garden! Behind strengthened green glass! With a proper door. And special grow lamps thanks to the Ztones mod! Add some marble trim and some steel heat blocks- and bam! Modern greenhouse! I thought about going full auto using factory craft. But…
As it is this fabulous greenhouse is a complete fucking waste. The village idiots have no clue how to use half the crops there. -And will never learn to properly utilize it at all. Nor can they maintenance it. So why waste the effort. You can go so far as to pipe the food right into their chests… But all they do is go “Heh-“ and look at it. What a waste… Oh well!
Thinking about adding a modded ender chest and piping the food to my fortress. But I kinda like it as is. Very pretty. I think it says a lot about you a person but more as a leader of men to go around fixing and upgrading villages as opposed to raiding or massacring them like some people do. Although… I do plenty of both. Walking into town and going on a hostile mob shooting spree. Clearing up any bad guys before I start construction. There’s no sense in leaving enemy buildings intact nor letting the village witch or goblins live. They’re only trouble.
Admittedly- I still can’t protect these villages from a Titan attack. But I’m working on it… My new mini Sieq Auto-turrets can punch out +60 damage a second. And can slaughter your average abnormal. But I still can’t go toe to toe with the 15m titan. Yet… But I’m working on that…
When I’m done fucking around with hostile mobs…
So- here is the new Sieq Automated rapid fire gun turret. Each one fires a pair of blaze rods that do a grand total of +60 damage a second with 2 knock back, fire, nausea, AND weakness. In short- if you’re a bad guy, these little turrets can fuck you up! –and fast!
They are machines so you don’t need to food or water them. They are more than powerful enough alone to take out any normal mob. Even in pairs they can take out most bosses. But cannot handle a Titan, SCP, or major boss. These are after all only meant to be minor base or village defenses.
Their guns make a lot of noise- so you know when they are killing something. They are good as pop-up ambush turrets or as bunker turrets –as seen here. Their only weakness is their lack of health. So they do need to be protected by a bunker or other short wall.
It’s pretty awesome to hook these up to a mob detector and have these piston up outta the ground from a camo trap door and get the jump on some dumb mobs. But fixed bunkers are cool too! Very Normandy beach.
“This” happens to be a full or “quad” bunker. Meaning one large bunker the size of 4 mini bunkers. These quad bunkers have a door, lights, and a healing block on the floor inside. There are a grand total of (6) Sieq robot turrets inside. 2 in front, 2 on each side. The door is in the back. So you can enter and easily fix or even stand and fight alongside the turrets. Only the rear of the bunker is vulnerable. This is VERY cool! Very useful as well! Most archers have trouble hitting you in the one block space. A lot of common mob melee attacks can’t hit you from a 2 block distance. It forces the enemy to come in close. And that’s where the meat grinding begins! Plus it’s hard to flank a triple directional turret. Most mobs and even players can’t do it.
When in pairs- the amount of firepower these multi turret bunkers have is ridiculous. Zerg rush tactics are USELESS! Mainly because the two side turrets work in tandem with other bunkers. They are formatted to blindly fire in an X pattern when enemies get too close. They ignore direct attackers. Why? Because their sole job is to put down a constant wall of lead! Cross the line and be shot to pieces!
If you’re wondering why each turret is inside stone flower pots- it’s because doing so makes them an invalid target for some smaller mobs. Technical glitch!
Just beware of shelling!
So this is the “Pub With No Beer” It’s just a name of course. After the Irish rover. There’s actually plenty of beer, whine, and spirits to go around here. It’s where Scotty the bartender works and most of the fortress guards hang out after work. There’s card games slot machines, a pool table, darts, food, and of course lots of drinking! All to Irish or Scottish music. Folks songs- drinking songs, that kinda thing. The pub as 2 rooms and is somewhat small. But it’s a good place to drink, sing songs, and relax.
A lotta singing “Donald where's your trousers” going on. The foods pretty good though. You might wanna stay the hell out if your one of those liberal pussies though. There’s a lotta drunk men with guns here and you’re liable to be shot or knocked out. Fighting is a way of life here. Think Klingons with better manners that aren’t complete assholes. You gotta be tough to live here. There have been invasions of hostile mobs and even brutal fire fights inside the fortress itself with other armies of armed soldiers. Machine gun and rocket fire from hallway to hallway. And all that gunfire really tears up a place. I think my home cleans up well though! You can hardly tell this was a battle ground. And I cleaned up most of the mess left by the last 15m Titan attack. And wiped up most of the blood from that SCP sculpture thing…
Ok… That's enough America for today.
Yes this is a real picture. If you look carefully you can see that they are all covered in mold.
A whole shelf of American exceptionalism!
Yes I regret Swedish laws regarding basic business practices and food safety are not global. The “free market” rules here…
But what can you do? People have to learn the hard way.