|Madness is a Gift. This is the box it comes in.|
So as you may or may not know- this year I came out of the closet as transgender! And let me tell ya. It feels great to be out! So I want everyone to know that from now on I officially self identify as gender mayonnaise! Yes Mayonnaaise!
Now I know SUMPEEPULL are going to hate! They’re going to say bigoted hate speech like –
That’s retarded! No one can be a jar of Mayonnaise! Or - No Patrick, mayonnaise is not a gender...
Well guess what? Bruce Jenner is a MALE! And it is biologically impossible for him to be female! And even if you put on a wig and chop off your wang – you are still only ever going to be a mutilated male in drag!
And then there’s Rachel Dolezal! A retarded privileged as all hell white woman who dressed in blackface for YEARS so she could commit fraud making a living as a black rights activist! She’s not black – she’s as white as a damn bleached snowflake in Siberia and no matter how much coal she smudges on her face – she’s only ever going to be white!
But here’s the point- No one really gives a fuck! They KNOW these people are fake and sick in the head- but you know what? They make-believe with them anyway because it’s popular right now to do so! Basically forgoing reality so they can fit in with the political correctness fad!
So guess what? If everyone is making exceptions in the way they perceive reality for people… Then Fuck it! I want to be Gender Mayo! Why not? If that’s what I want to be what gives you the right to say I am otherwise? I mean seriously! If I have to go along with the make-believe crap now - I want MY imaginary shit too! -As a bribe for going along with it! It's called returning the favor!
I mean think about it - Bruce Jenner isn’t a fucking woman and Rachel Dolezal sure as fuck isn’t a Mandinkian fighting man from Africa! That’s all made up bullshit! So if they get to make shit up- Why can’t I be a jar of mayo? How is it any different? Because both are fucking retarded and completely impossible! And if neither case is true then it makes no difference what so ever to identify as Mayonnaise!
IF that’s what makes me happy-
And it is!
– then that is what I choose and you damn well better accept it! AND you have to address me as mayo from now on –not human, or it is hate speech! Don’t like it? Sucks to be you! Because that’s what liberals are forcing down everyone else’s throats – so you have to do the same for me! I ask no more and no less than the other nutjobs do! Fair is fair! If you want your sensitivity to your idiotic beliefs to be honored- so do I! I'll play along only if you do! And if not- I'll call you on your bullshit!
So, yes! I now proudly identify as gender Mayonnaise!
I can finally say it with pride!
And I don't have to feel like a loony toon now cas everyone else is just as fucking delusional!
So I made a sticker to celebrate my new gender identity! Feel free to use if you want! And may your sandwiches always be tangy!
Also I want the LGBTQ community to stop being bigots and add (M) for mayo- to the LGBTQ label!
Yes I'm serious about all this!
So form now on it should be LGBTQM!
Oh And DO NOT misgender me by calling me miracle whip! miracle whip is NOT Mayo! No really... Look it up!
Hello! It is the Bob!
Today I would like to sell you an apparently very valuable item of mine so that I can raise some much needed cash!
So I hear liberals, feminists, and other likewise borderline autistic people telling me everyday to “check my (non-existent) privilege…” And that said “White Privilege” is both valuable and undeniable. This is funny because I guess Spaniards count as “white” now… But then again- this whole liberal line of thinking is retarded because the people who say “check your privilege…” are all white wealthy college liberals who seem to have far more than I do. – Though I’m not exactly poor either. Odd that the hoax of so called white privilege is becoming so popular among the masses of social Marxists lately… Because the thought of me owning some omnipotent rewards card from god – just because I am pale in complexion is fucking retarded… Or that anyone would automatically give me the benefit of the doubt in any argument “they don’t” for a lack of melanin. Or somehow police will give me an automatic “get out of a traffic ticket free card.” –My bank account can tell you this white privilege is a myth too!
Funny things is – now that I think about it. I have no privilege at all! Everything I have I’ve had to fight hard for because I was not attractive or popular enough to get things handed to me. Where is the high paying job my white privilege was supposed to give me? Where is the shield from police harassment and for-profit ticketing that my white privilege was supposed to defend me against?! Hell! Back in high school I was even ticketed by liberals and had to go to court because I hit my bully! –Which by the way was still worth it since NO ONE ever picked on me again after that! Where is my white privilege now that I could really use the money? Where is my privilege check? Where can I cash it? I’m starting to think all this white privilege stuff is bullshit!
Liberals insist that you are ignorant or some kind of holocaust denier if you point out the solid reality that white privilege is a hoax. They cry and bitch that the existence of white privilege is fundamentally irrefutable! And that this privilege is extremely valuable!
Since “white privilege” is supposedly as real as the nose of my face- and that it is responsible for all the good things I have in life. I therefore would like to sell it! Yes! I here and now would like to sell the fine people of the internet my very valuable white privilege! I will take PayPal only plz! After all- Liberals insist that “white privilege” - “like the tooth fairy or Jebus” exists! And it cannot be denied that it is a real thing! And that this white privilege can give you so much in life that it will change your entire social class! Which I would bet such a lucky rabbits’ foot would be worth at least 6 grand! But I will part with my white privilege for the low cost of only $2500! Think about it! That’s a brand new job, get out of traffic tickets free, always get the benefit of the doubt in any situation, and so much more – card; All for the low low cost of only $2500! That’s less than the price of fighting one ticket, going to jail, or not getting to be a CEO! “If” white privilege really does exist- then ladies and gents – this is the opportunity of a lifetime!
For your money I will send you a signed legal document stating that I hereby turn over ownership of my white privilege to you! That whom shall ever hold this mighty document shall have the omnipotent protection of white privilege! –Should white privilege even exist…
So! Let us start the bidding shall we?
It’s her OC Mango Kitty in all it’s meowness! Asleep in the clouds. Peacefully dreaming of various snacks including but not limited to lemon. I made sure to get the various colors right. The orange thing on her left is a mango btw.
So here some something I’ve been needing to post for awhile! A reference to my OC race the Catato! A deceptively cute race of genetically engineered interstellar cats run amuck. They are a highly aggressive and destructive colonial organism. An agricultural pest that can and do wipe out entire planets. They attack crops and use interstellar trade to spread like rats on a ship. They also construct vast armies of “micro” ships, mechs, and vehicles in order to match the abilities of other modern armies. Catatoes are highly social and intelligent creatures that have a bow or die policy with other races. Those that will not summit to the influence of their federation - die. However the Catato are known for being highly Machiavellian, betraying their allies if it suits them to do so. Catatoes arm armed with a powerful acid that can melt through mech armor like thermite through butter.
The Catato are felines with the minds of army ants and are the accidental genetic offspring of the Solack. The Solack hold no control over their incidental creations. The Catato are normally the size of a lynx. But they can adjust their brood size to produce offspring as small as a kitten or as large as a house. –Depending on their needs.
Catato colonies are ruled by a single queen. Planets by broods of sister colonies. The most successful colony’s queen or “Brood Mother” commands the planet. The federation is ruled by the master queen known only as “Mother” whom is said to be directly related to the Catato goddess known as the All Mother. The first Catato whom originally gave birth to all Catato. Incidentally like ants – all Catatoes are genderless drones. With the exceptions of males / new queens whom are reproductive alates.
Also it should be noted that there are no Catato kittens. The queen Catato lays "seed potatoes" called "eggs." These potatoes are identical to any other human grown potato - and mature into smaller versions of mature Catatoes called "Instars." Instars are the blind immobile kitten like stage that are cared for in solarium and put into piles until they mature into adult Catatoes. Instars are essentially "kitten balls" small football shaped cats that are helpless until they are done growing.
Catato diet is various. They basically eat everything. But mostly they eat leaves, dirt, sticks, pine-cones, mushrooms, fruit, spider webs, and nuts. However they will eat any animal they can kill. They like wheat and white bread and do not eat normal potatoes.
The Catato Race - Concept, Stories, and Art © Infinity Unbound
No: Sampling, Sharing, Rendering, Tracing, Editing, Distributing, Reproducing, Re-uploading, Copying,
Or any other forms of stealing.